This is an odd time for me. A hopeful but odd time.
I returned from my annual Christmas visit to Australia last week and so far this visit has been my favourite. The moment I landed I felt the land embrace me with such warmth. Welcoming me home. That warmth overwhelmed me and I cried. I had felt so rejected by my home for so long and resented the life I had there and the relationships that expected me to act with the same intimacy as before. This trip was different than previous trips. For days it didn't feel real. I felt like I was walking around in a dream. The ground didn't feel solid under my feet. Nothing felt real and yet I knew how to behave because everything was familiar. It made me question myself a lot especially about what I really wanted. I didn't realise that I was still adjusting. Such drastic change from complete isolation to unconditional embraces and love. My boyfriend and I were in each other's pockets for almost the entire time. In the same way we get so involved in our dreams I was completely absorbed and had almost forgotten that the last 2 and a half years of my life had happened. I was surrounded by good food, my family treating me like an adult, reconnecting with my boyfriend and that glorious Australian sun. Then suddenly again after that insanely long plane ride I was back here in Vancouver. I felt groggy. Vancouver felt like I had woken from a dream. My body was in mourning all of last Sunday. I didn't want to leave. I know for sure my time here is ending. I had already decided months ago I would move back home after this contract. There are a number of reasons that pushed me to this decision and now I have to commit to every step along the way. I have already secured an animation job for March back home. There's no backing away now that I've said yes to that and I don't want to back away. I did what I came here to do. This is my last week on this project and I'm done. Vancouver's letting me go and I'm ready to leave. There's an odd transition happening right now. Comments are closed.
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Sketch BlogHere I get to share some of my personal art and personal moments with you. Archives
August 2017
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